Lost Coin Notes
December 7, 2010
 
Doen encouraged everyone to come to the retreat in February. Today we are going to talk about the last ox herding pictures and then next week switch to another side of things (Fourth Way).
 
General thoughts: Karen and Doen were recently reflecting on how practice was for them and what it is like today. Likely it will never be like it was at Zen Mountain Monastery. Even in the monastery there were only a few fanatics – and they were two of them.  He is very happy with this group and it more reflects the future – so you have to look into your own heart and determine how serious you are – this is way practice is going to look. This incredible teaching will now pass over to women. After this generation, it will be predominately women. When you look back to China – it was all men – all the teachers were men – that’s going to switch. He sees that happening.  The people really attracted to this practice are women. Women are more reflective, less literal, and men who are attracted to this practice are exceptional. It will be in your hands.
 
Doen is a man - but was brought up by a European man – so not exactly an American man. The men and women were not so separated in Doen’s growing up. They all talked together about politics, art, sex, etc. He is more metro-sexual, like his father who was gentle, good mannered and a good dresser. So he is a good transition between male and female – he hopes he is facilitating that.
 
The Kanzeon lineage has more female teachers  – ½ and ½ and more Europeans. It is no longer a male’s practice – maybe after 1000 years it will switch back . . . It is hard to own when it has been so male oriented. For women it has been hard because everything was male: teachers, authors. Doen’s message – so own it
 
Up to the 5th Ox Herding picture: have you ever had the feeling – I’m not me – everything everyone thinks I am – or what I do or say – there is something that is more me than that. That is the absolute – the ox – or soul or spirit that is deeper than our personality.  If you have never spent time looking at that – please do – it will clarify it.
 
Stage five - Taming the Ox – the next thing is to start working on character understanding. At this stage one sees the nature of the world but may not have sensitivity.  Doen is trying to make them go hand and hand – we are taming the ox right away – be sensitive, nice to each other, don’t foster egotism – don’t want to handle this at level six. Lost Coin creates a nice matrix that attracts nice people.
 
Dai-kensho – it is like giving birth – the teacher has to do something to help instigate the process. It is like the student is a little chicken inside an egg – it is poking and the teacher helps break the shell = the death of ego but not permanently – it can last from a day to a month. It is a big shock to the system that you recover from. Dai-kensho is when you really find the ox. Kensho is when you see what the ox is – but it becomes a memory. When you have Dai-kensho at the 5th level – the awareness  is always there – you can shift your attention and see yourself there at any time. It clarifies through time.
 
The person has to get off the ox. Doen did this with Genpo – he told Doen, “you don’t think you are stuck in the fifth – but you are – even if you are benevolent.” Doen couldn’t see it until it stopped, he was smugly stuck there. 
 
Sixth Ox Herding picture – the name of our retreat – riding the ox home:  Dai kensho is a dangerous place to be. People who have had this experience can become convinced that anything they do is OK, they can abuse their power as a teacher, e.g., Osho at one time was stuck in that place. Same with lots of Indian gurus that came over, they were at this level and couldn’t see how they were stuck.
 
Riding the ox home: when we are born – we did not choose to be a human being – we may feel like someone made a big mistake – who ever designed this had a mean streak. If every day you got younger, better looking it would be OK, but it seems like things are always getting constantly worse - I don’t want to be short, stupid, etc. We feel like are a victim of our existence.
 
Stage six begins the practice of ordinary life – we begin to consciously become a human being. For the first time we become a volunteer – to choose human existence. The implication of this volunteerism is that everything changes: you lose the people you love, you get old and sick. Why would you want to do that? You can either be here and refuse - or be one with your life. Zen practice is to be one with human existence. Maezumi Roshi would say – choose to appreciate your life. How will that help? Try it and you will see – it is a whole different feeling when you choose your life – you will gain a tremendous empowerment.
Contemplate this: choose human existence – then it is yours – you may not like it but it is yours. All of the resistance starts to erode because it is you – what riding the ox home is about.
 
Most never finish the 10 stages; but, even if you finish, it is still not over – you go over them again more deeply.
 
By stage 7 – it is great you accepted life as a human being – but you then realize you aren’t just a human being – like Christianity and other religious traditions – by accepting your faith completely you transcend the individual life.
 
Stage Seven – Forgetting the Ox – the person has completed forgotten about the idea of enlightenment (the ox). The person doesn’t forget the journey – but it isn’t important anymore. At one time in life the most important thing in life was finding the ox – now you can forget enlightenment. The whole idea of the search is now over. When Doen was a kid at Christmas, one thing he liked was to go down to Macey’s with their elaborate decorations, go through the revolving doors and buy toys. When you start to practice it is like that – going through the revolving door of life and see what is there. Fifteen to twenty years later you come out of the revolving door and nothing is changed except you no longer have any desire to go through the revolving door – you already have the biggest toy – life. You have learned that you are bigger than your ego but accepting yourself. You can be peaceful at stage seven - forgetting the ox.
You are now focused on your life.
 
Stage Eight - Transcending the Ox: You aren’t trying to understand anything anymore. Having reached home, you are one with the Way (the way is stupidity – you don’t have to be stupid but the way is  stupid)– it isn’t the analytical way – it is beyond meaning because meaning is just one kind of meaning . What is the meaning of the rain, music, a kiss, a spring day, an artichoke, a flower – there is no meaning that is what makes things beautiful – beyond meaning. Science knows how thing work – not what they are – transcending the ordinary of understanding things.  The practice starts where concepts stop.
 
Stage Nine – Returning to the Source: Intimate accord with all of life – everything you see is just you – now you have accepted all human existence as your own deepest reality – the bird outside is you - you can’t be on a more intimate footing with life and death. Now start to mix up with the ox – everything is you.
 
Stage Ten –
Everyone wants to skip to this one – if you want to go ahead. But this depicts the guy that has walked the path. Bodhidharma meet the Emperor of China and the Emperor asks him about how much merit he has gained from building temples, etc.  Bodhidharma replies - no merit what so ever. The Emperor ask – and who are you to say that? Bodhidharma replies, “I don’t know” and leaves. That is stage ten – as close to being a leaf, pedal, bird, totally natural.  No self-consciousness.
 
The Ox Herding pictures are a map of a path, a nice map - the actual terrain may vary for each person.
 
Another good book for background is: The Roaring Stream – an anthology with all the major Zen characters.
 
Q and A
Lost Coin is like the Tibetan tradition where personal development is integrated with awareness. Doen doesn’t want us to get to Stage five without that integration. In many Zen centers, folks can be self-centered because they have gained insight - but not see there are others around or see their flaws. Also, we have the advantage in Lost Coin in working with a small group, which allows Doen to get to know and help guide us individually.
 
One student experiences oneness as joy/love. With that joy is freedom – have flown coop of own ideas.  However, it is a mystery, you can go deeper than joy into it – awe, the feeling of self-transcendence.  Doen recommends: Cold Mountain Poems (translated by Red Pine). These poems were written by two monks who didn’t like studying at a monastery and lived as hermits on a mountain. They wrote their poetry on rocks and bark – never wrote on paper. Cold Mountain – the cold means the absence of thought. These were Inscriptions of their life. Whenever you have stopped thinking – you have flown the coop, whenever you are not afraid or nervous.
 
When practicing with a focus on the breath – put full attention on the breath – nothing else in the world but breath – no fear, planning,  etc. - be one with breath . When you first sit down, tell yourself you are going to forget everything about your life.
One student had a big work projects and wanted to know how to develop focus?  Doen’s concentration has improved with meditation. Normal life is all about getting rid of the bad and getting the good  – practice is about being one with whatever you are feeling. Whenever you have negative feelings – be one with them – be one with whatever you are feeling – it will pass. We are blending subject and object. Sitting is not meditation, zazen is becoming one with – it is active. Concentration is not the aim of sitting – it what you need to sit.
 
Sitting is for breaking-through.  Doen recommended to another student listening to classical music and following note by note. These are the mechanics of sitting – it is much deeper than concentration – it is finding out who you are.
 
This week’s assignment: work on being one with human existence – consciously choosing human existence.
